Ok. So we all talk to ourselves. Some of you might be thinking, “talk to myself? I don’t talk to myself. Do I talk to myself?” It’s ok. We all do it.
As a martial artist I often find myself sparring with my inner critic. Sometimes we have a little light randori – she helps me identify my weaknesses and occasionally I surprise her with a few techniques. Other nights however, I get an absolute battering. I come away bloody, bruised and generally unenthused about returning to training.
With the grading only a few days away, these full contact kumite nights are becoming more common. And, while I know she thinks this kind of sparring is helpful, there’s only so much pummeling a girl can take.
By all means, a little self-criticism is healthy. It helps us improve and keeps our ego in check. But be warned. A good sparring partner corrects and encourages. They’re not negative, judgmental or mean.
Members of the dojo come and go but your internal training partner is one you’re stuck with for life. You may as well try and befriend them. They have the potential to be your best teacher or your most malicious opponent. And, on days when it’s just the two of you, this training buddy may just make or break your sessions.
I think sometimes the best athletes have relatively less internal commentary going on in their heads. Rather than questioning and critiquing every action, their inner coach just says “go” and encourages or observes quietly. If you look to martial artists like Higaonna-Sensei, it’s pretty clear that he and his inner instructor are a compatible pair. Perhaps this is what he’s saying when he tells us:
“Trust in yourself. I can. I cannot… no. Always, I can, I can”.Simple advice. Like many of Sensei’s pearls this one really rings true for me - something I'm going to try and remember next time I catch myself getting a beating.
What do you make of your inner doppelganger? Are they a friend? Or a foe?
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1st, best of luck this next grading.
2nd, I believe your "Members of the dojo..." phrase is quite insightful and direct. Thanks for sharing it.
My inner critic, in MA, is mostly healthy. In other endeavours it's been unhealthy more than once.
Keep well.
As the years pass you listen less to the critic in your head.. One thing that I've learnt is that beating yourself up on the inside doesn't always help, the most important thing is to enjoy your training, if you spend too much time thinking I must be better, seeking the perfection of the eastern mind, the enjoyment fades and you seek a simpler way of training in the end.. Just look at me..
Steve
It was a friend before, then became a foe.
Now, it's only noise that I don't really care about. In training, that is.
It's still is a foe sometimes. Sometimes, it's still a friend.
Other times, it's still noise. It's more about coming together. I think you got my meaning last time. :)
@Shugyosha: Thanks. I'm glad that you've found a balance with your inner critic in martial arts. I wonder if learning to keep those perfectionist tendencies under control in martial arts helps us do the same in other areas of our lives...?
@Steve: Great advice. Funny though, I think my inner critic has gotten stronger over the years perhaps with increasing expectations I have for myself and my training.
There is certainly something special about those nights of hard training for training's sake. I guess the secret's being patient. Like you say enjoying training and not being so determined to fix everything right away. Suppose we have to have faith that with enough time and effort the techniques will eventually take care of themselves.
@Mathieu: It fluctuates for me too. Good though if you can shut the noise out in training - something I'm still working on.
Great post! I am with you - sometimes mine is nasty, sometimes she goes easy on me ;)
Good luck with the grading Krista!
You can! :-)
Unfortunately my inner critic is a lot younger than me and expects me to be able to do things better than I'm able to. I sometimes have to remind her that time is moving on and we have to go a little more steady now!
I find that my inner critic is a real pain in the a**. He tends to be pretty hard on me and is never really satisfied - most annoying thing is that most of the time, the inner critic right (in absolute terms anyways) that things could be done better.
However, I find that I tend to perform badly when I get bogged down with self-criticism. Certainly it has its place while I drill techniques over and over. But when it comes to sparring, I perform best when I turn off the inner critic and just trust in my trained techniques. (Also my inner critic is really sarcastic so he gives me a bit of a headache!)
Good luck with the grading! :)
@Gai.ninja, bujin81 SueC & Riz: Thanks and I really appreciate the grading wishes ;) It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one having problems keeping my inner critic under control.
@Riz: I think you make a great point about the effects of self-criticism on performance. There is definitely a time and a place for critical thinking. But even when drilling techniques I think it pays to be positive about our ability to change and improve.