In my last post I talked about the ills of belt systems.But, here's the thing...
Sensei recently asked me to sit for a grading and I’d be lying if I said part of me didn’t get a little excited.
In truth, I'd love some more time. But, I do feel incredibly privileged to have been asked to grade under Sensei. It’s an amazing opportunity and one I know I just can't turn down.
So, while it’s easy to sit here and claim that grades aren’t important, it’s obvious that there’s still something in it.
Perhaps it’s not so much the dan-grade but the grading process that makes it special. For me, gradings have always been something very different to competition or competitive sport. In my teens I raced nationally in triathlon and cross-country running but these events never really compared to the physical and mental ordeal of our gradings. And, while puking and being pummeled isn’t everyone’s idea of a fun time, there really is ‘something’ in being booted right out of your comfort zone and pushed to your absolute limits.
I remember having the odd experience once amid countless repetitions of push-ups at the end of a grading where for a brief moment, the pain disappeared, my head cleared, and everything became effortless. Unfortunately it didn’t last long. But, I felt that for a brief moment at least, I had clarity. Maybe it was just the endorphins. But then, it’s always possible I caught a small glimpse of what some might call ‘satori’ – a ‘little awakening’, one of those brief moments of enlightenment you occasionally hear talked about in training.
Whatever it was, I’ve always felt that the physical, emotional and spiritual trial of gradings has forced me to grow as a person (if only in growing my pain threshold). And through them, I’ve come to learn a little about myself that I didn’t know. In the end, pass or fail, the mere fact I survived and gave it everything is I think what makes it special.
Recently I heard a friend say, “it’s up to you how hard you push yourself”. Very true. I suppose the next stage is to learn how to give everything in normal training. Gradings are great challenges but maybe the greater challenge is fighting the urge to tune out and go through the motions. Imagine how much we’d improve if we treated all trainings like gradings.
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I think there are a lot of positive things about grading: You get tested under pressure and you are expected to know all the elements of your syllabus so this helps you know if you really know your stuff or not. You know the grading officer is looking at the details of your technique so it makes you raise your game and think about correct feet and hand positions, that you are punching straight and at correct height etc. It's physically demanding because you have to do so many repeats of each element and so it helps you assess your fitness level. Finally the marks for each element are read out to everyone at the end of the grading so if you haven't performed well in an element everyone knows it, so it can be a humbling experience!
Hello Krista,
That last comment of yours!"Imagin how much we'd improve if we treated all trainings like gradings."
Now you're getting it. The value of grading lies not in the test or the promotion(if you pass), but in the focus such occassions bring to bear on ourselves. Budo may well be something we can do alongside others, but it is a path we all walk alone. So, like your friend said, "You can push yourself as hard as you like!" Now...while some may see that as a 'cop-out' clause' others, like the group of people you're training with at the dojo, are more likely to see it as a reason to always do their best.
Actually, from my days training at the Higaonna dojo, (apart from 'mo-ichi-do), the thing I remember sensei saying the most is, "Please try your best!"
I'm enjoying your blog Krista, I hope you have a book in all this somewhere.
Regards,
Mike Clarke
@Sue: Your grading system sounds quite different to ours - but then it's bound to vary between clubs and styles.
I'm not familiar with scoring and points. It's an interesting way to do things. For me, gradings have always been a personal challenge - first and foremost a test of spirit. I'd be a little worried that the point system might make things more competitive? I suppose there are benefits in any approach. It is interesting to hear what it's like in other clubs though.
@Mike Sensei: I love your comment about budo being a 'path we walk alone'. I've come to realise how true this is since I started training at Honbu. It's hard not to feel the pressure when Sensei's there and I'm constantly inspired by my seniors to give everything each night - even though maintaining this level of focus every day is a challenge in itself.
But, I think one of the most valuable things I've learnt in my time here has been how to push myself in my personal training - the odd morning session or Sundays when I train on my own. For a long time I struggled with this in the past. I'd be bored, distracted and indecisive. But it's a great feeling to know I can do it now. When you don't need anything or anyone to push you, then you really do bring your dojo with you everywhere :)
Thank you for keeping this blog, and providing a window through which to view your training. We don't rank/grade, as we are so off the beaten path, and reading about your experiences are a real treat. I love the comment, 'train as if you were grading all the time'. My own teacher says something similar: that each class is, in a way, part of the test.
Narda,
Thanks. It's always nice to know that my blog has found itself a few good readers ;)
I like your instructor's comment too. I think it can be hard to maintain a consistent level of focus and energy in everyday training but it is definitely a good goal for us all.
I like the blog. It sounds like satori to me. Give everything you have and there will always be more to give. Humans grow like that I think. Be Well.
Thanks for your warm comments Victor. I think your short statement is a really poignant one :)